UPS or Oops?
I got home after work and noticed the red message light blinking on the house phone. The voicemail was from UPS, “Please call us, we think we might have a package for you”. How tentative, I thought. The call went something like this:
Andrei: “I got a message that you might have a package for me?”
UPSer: “Yes, we have one with half of its label torn off. It’s addressed to your street and apartment number, but we have no building number. Are you expecting a package?”
Andrei: (trying to recall) “Maybe. Where is it from?”
UPSer: “New England.”
Andrei: (boggles) “New England? Can you be more specific?”
UPSer: “No, that’s all it says: NE.”
Andrei: (wishing one could smack people over the phone) “Yes, it’s mine.”
I was in fact expecting a package. From Nebraska. Clearly UPS has superior training for its associates.
19/09/2005 at 2:51 pm Permalink
I may sound ignorant when I say this, but I always wondered what the meaning of “lost package” is.
How does a package get “lost”? Does it fall off the truck? Does it fall out of the bin?
If you think about it, my package could only be in a few possible places:
- In the truck.
- In the post office.
- In the airplane.
The only way it could get lost when in the truck is if:
a) The postman pockets the package.
b) It falls off of the truck.
c) Its sent to the wrong address.
I cannot possibly get lost in the post office.
The only way it could get lost on the plane is if:
a) Someone pockets my package.
b) It falls off of the plane and kills a squirrel from impatc.
c) It is sent on the wrong plane, to the wrong person.
Thus, the only conclusions I can make is that if a package gets lost it either:
a) Gets sent the wrong way.
b) Get stolen by an employee.
They have lost 8 of my packages over a 4 month period.
19/09/2005 at 6:34 pm Permalink
Do you smack people in real life? Do you really think that’s a nice and compassionate thing to do?
19/09/2005 at 6:43 pm Permalink
Do I smack people in real life? Come by and find out.
19/09/2005 at 7:38 pm Permalink
So you think violence is an admirable trait to have? Especially directed toward less educated people?
19/09/2005 at 7:48 pm Permalink
I guess knowing abbreviations of 50 states is a lot to expect from an employee of the company that purports to be in the package delivery business.
20/09/2005 at 7:00 pm Permalink
Is smacking people company policy at Yahoo? Are users/customers of Yahoo allowed to smack Yahoo employees? I know of several employees/departments that are deserving.
23/09/2005 at 8:58 am Permalink
Wow, some other Jeremy is a wanker. Stop giving my people a bad name!
24/09/2005 at 4:57 pm Permalink
To bad the wanker isn’t using a real email address.
24/09/2005 at 5:02 pm Permalink
On a related point, Fedex isn’t much better. They “couldn’t find address” and instead returned the package. The address was accurate (I confirmed with them over the phone), so no clue what the driver’s deal was.
26/09/2005 at 4:36 pm Permalink
Jeremies Cole and Johnstone need to be smacked. Wankers.
27/09/2005 at 8:54 pm Permalink
Now who is the violent one…