Andrei Zmievski » Funny

Punny at Work

Andrei — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:04:06 +0000

At Digg pretty much the whole company hangs out on an internal IRC channel. Funny stuff comes up all the time. Here’s the latest sampling:

[link to a story]
ieure: couldn’t they keep an eye on him?
Didn’t see that coming.
Blindsided, as it were.
Okay, these puns are getting way too cornea.
no way, eye am perfectly fine with it
i ris my case.

A Swede by Any Other Name

Andrei — Wed, 02 May 2007 21:37:26 +0000

The new guy in our group at work has been here less than a couple of months. Today he came up to my manager and the following conversation ensued:

New guy: Did L*** quit?? [L*** is a another co-worker]
Manager: No, why?
New guy: His cube is empty.
Manager: Oh, he works remotely from Colorado most of the time.
New guy: Huh.. The map on the sheet posted outside the aisle says someone else is in his cube… Crazy Swede?

Damn, I’m going to miss this place..

A Thought Experiment

Andrei — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 19:39:30 +0000

George related this gem at the Zend Conference. Someone (let’s call him Bob) came up to him, and had this exchange:

Bob: If you were a PHP function.. which function would you be?
George:
Bob: I am part Native American, so I think I would be apache_terminate_child().
George:

Hot and .. Not So

Andrei — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:33:32 +0000

Thought I’d throw a couple of fun links your way. First one is a project that almost won $5,000 prize at the last Mashup Camp. It presents, shall we say, an innovative approach to user validation combining so-called business with so-called pleasure. HotCaptcha gets thumbs-up from me any day of the week.

The other is a supremely strong candidate for the title of the Worst Music Video Ever. It is an inspired effort that immediately induces cringing expression on your face and fails to release you from its grip until (in my case) 3 hours later. Have fun.

A Day in the Life of Schmichael

Andrei — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 23:22:16 +0000

Let it be known that Yahoo! engineers are not without a sense of whimsy. Michael Radwin, who is the main engineering manager for my group, has been on paternal leave for the past 3 months. Evidently, his direct reports got somewhat lonely without the attention of the fearless leader and his friendly smile..

Emergency Supplies

Andrei — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 18:27:15 +0000

Now that’s what I call an emergency supply kit.

SuperBowl XL

Andrei — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 17:14:54 +0000

Since Patriots missed their chance at the SuperBowl this year, I only had slight interest in the game itself and was mostly looking forward to the commercials. However, those have proven to be quite sub-par, except for a couple that were fairly amusing. Here are the links:

There were a couple ofo AmeriQuest Mortgage ones too, but they don’t seem to be online.

He saves… but does he commit?

Andrei — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 16:32:38 +0000

Looking through the email inbox this morning I saw these headers, which provided a low-yield amusement factor.

Good to know that even the deities have to go through formalities.

Happy New 2006 to y’all by the way!

“They are all ball-shaped!”

Andrei — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 00:20:50 +0000

Just a sample of the kind of emails I sometimes get. I have no idea why they decided that I am a 3D artist or that this is a good way to recruite someone to work on a shareware game without “a huge budget”, but it’s amusing. Good luck with the April 1 release date!

Practice Makes Perfect?

Andrei — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 18:11:54 +0000

Overheard while walking into the exhibit hall at the Zend PHP Conference:

A girl (dressed in company X attire, speaking to a guy next to her): I don’t do sex. I just practice a lot.