How to Sell a Bulldozer
Yahoo! has an internal mailing list that started off as a way for employees to buy from and sell things to fellow coworkers. However, over the years it has evolved into a much more diverse tool used for recommendations, rides, advice, offers of services, and general venting and ranting. People even try to sell their houses on it.
Being in a mischievous mood on a slow Friday, I decided to see exactly what one could get away with:
One Caterpillar 814F Wheel Dozer for sale. Only used once. Picked it up new on eBay, but doctor says I shouldn’t operate heavy machinery. This dozer will be perfect for you all your earth moving needs.
* Redo your backyard in no time, or annex the neighbor’s.
* Build a sledding hill.
* Turn it into an armored fortress. Because you know the end of days is coming, and there is nothing like an armor-plated dozer to help you through the crunch.
* Use it as a prop for your political campaign photos.
Benefits & features:
* Ginormous Engine
* Straight Blade
* Air Suspension Contour Seat – comfy!
* Fast Fuel Fill Adapter (up to 100 gallons per minute)
* Built-in storage space for cups, lunch box, insulated bottle and personal items
Disclaimer: might not fit into a full-size parking spot on Yahoo! campus.
Asking $22K OBO. Will throw in a hood ornament.
My goal was to make it just plausible enough for people to wonder whether I had a real bulldozer or was simply looking for laughs. Apparently, I made it too authentic, because in about 15 minutes I got a reply from someone (let’s call them Bob):
Andrei: (speechless)
By this time other replies were rolling in: commenting on the hilarity and absurdity of the ad, offering submarines and space stations for sale in paltry imitation, and complaining about list pollution (losers). I noticed that Bob posted his own ad for a tricked-out RV, which coincidentally was priced at $22,000 as well.
And soon:
Andrei: (deciding not to ask questions, but to gently let Bob know that the ad is fake)
Just to mess with their minds a little more, that afternoon I sent another email to the list:
One of the replies:
Indeed.
28/09/2005 at 4:08 pm Permalink
> complaining about list pollution (losers)
Did you smack them?
28/09/2005 at 5:33 pm Permalink
Dude! If you bought it on eBay, you should sell it on eBay.
28/09/2005 at 5:50 pm Permalink
You sound like you are having too much fun for that to be considered work
28/09/2005 at 10:42 pm Permalink
jeremy@yahoo, no, I didn’t, because you really turned my life around, and I don’t smack people anymore.
29/09/2005 at 4:05 pm Permalink
So you admit you smacked people? Your politics seem liberal – shouldn’t you be a pacifist? Glad I turned your life around!
30/09/2005 at 12:25 pm Permalink
Don’t confuse pacifism with liberalism.
30/09/2005 at 5:47 pm Permalink
You’d better brush up on leftyism. All liberals are *supposed* to be pacificists. Only neanderthals go around smacking people.